I have a very difficult time taking criticism. My reaction is often more hurt than defensive, or at I think so. I do know that receiving criticism graciously and humbly is something I need to work on and pray about. I just found this great article about the cross and criticism. (HT Michael McKinley)
Criticism is commended all throughout Scripture
Prov. 12:15, Prov. 13:10, Prov. 17:10, Prov. 13:13, Prov. 9:9, Prov. 15:32, Psalm 141:5
How can we move from always being quick to defend ourselves against any and all criticism toward becoming instead like David who saw it as gain? The answer is through understanding, believing, and affirming all that God says about us in the cross of Christ.
Paul summed it up when he said, “I have been crucified with Christ.” A believer is one who identifies with all that God affirms and condemns in Christ’s crucifixion. God affirms in Christ’s crucifixion the whole truth about Himself: His holiness, goodness, justice, mercy, and truth as revealed and demonstrated in His Son, Jesus. Equally, in the cross God condemns the lie: sin, deceit, and the idolatrous heart. He condemns my sinfulness as well as my specific sins. Let’s see how this applies to giving and taking criticism.
First, in Christ’s Cross I Agree With God’s Judgment of Me
I see myself as God sees me—a sinner. There is no escaping the truth: “No one is righteous, not even one” (Rom. 3:9-18). In response to my sin, the cross has criticized and judged me more intensely, deeply, pervasively, and truly than anyone else ever could. This knowledge permits us to say to all other criticism of us: “This is just a fraction of it.”
Gal. 3:10, James 2:10, Gal. 2:20, Rom. 6:6
If the cross says anything, it speaks about my sin. The person who says “I have been crucified with Christ” is a person well aware of his sinfulness. You’ll never get life right by your own unaided efforts because all who rely on observing the law are under a curse. “Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law” (Gal. 3:10). Thus the cross doesn’t merely criticize or judge us; it condemns us for not doing everything written in God’s law. Do you believe that? Do you feel the force of that criticism? Do you appreciate the thoroughness of God’s judgment?
The crucified person also knows that he cannot defend himself against God’s judgment by trying to offset his sin by his good works. Think about this fact: whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it (James 2:10).
To claim to be a Christian is to agree with all God says about our sin. As a person “crucified with Christ,” we admit, agree, and approve of God’s judgment against us: There is no one righteous, not even one (Rom. 3:10).
Second, In Christ’s Cross I Agree With God’s Justification of Me
I must not only agree with God’s judgment of me as sinner in the cross of Christ, but I must also agree with God’s justification of me as sinner. Through the sacrificial love of Jesus, God justifies ungodly people (Rom. 3:21-26).
Gal. 2:20, Rom. 3:20, Rom. 3:22,
The cross of Christ reminds me that the Son of God loved me and gave Himself for me. And because of this, God has thoroughly and forever accepted me in Christ. Here is how grace works: Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.” He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit (Gal. 3:13f).
What a sure foundation for the soul! Now, I don’t practice self-justification, but boasting—boasting about Christ’s righteousness for me.
If you truly take this to heart, the whole world can stand against you, denounce you, or criticize you, and you will be able to reply, “If God has justified me, who can condemn me?” “If God justifies me, accepts me, and will never forsake me, then why should I feel insecure and fear criticism?” “Christ took my sins, and I receive His Spirit. Christ takes my condemnation, and I receive His righteousness.”
Implications for Dealing with Criticism
f I know myself as crucified with Christ, I can now receive another’s criticism with this attitude: “You have not discovered a fraction of my guilt. Christ has said more about my sin, my failings, my rebellion and my foolishness than any man can lay against me. I thank you for your corrections. They are a blessing and a kindness to me. For even when they are wrong or misplaced, they remind me of my true faults and sins for which my Lord and Savior paid dearly when He went to the cross for me. I want to hear where your criticisms are valid.”
The correction and advice that we hear are sent by our heavenly Father. They are His corrections, rebukes, warnings, and scoldings. His reminders are meant to humble me, to weed out the root of pride and replace it with a heart and lifestyle of growing wisdom, understanding, goodness, and truth. For example, if you can take criticism—however just or unjust—you’ll learn to give it with gracious intent and constructive results. See the sidebar, “Giving Criticism God’s Way.”
I do not fear man’s criticism for I have already agreed with God’s criticism. And I do not look ultimately for man’s approval for I have gained by grace God’s approval. In fact, His love for me helps me to hear correction and criticism as a kindness, oil on my head, from my Father who loves me and says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone He accepts as a son” (Heb. 12:5-6).
Applying What We’ve Learned
- Critique yourself. How do I typically react to correction? Do I pout when criticized or corrected? What is my first response when someone says I’m wrong? Do I tend to attack the person? To reject the content of criticism? To react to the manner? How well do I take advice? How well do I seek it? Are people able to approach me to correct me? Am I teachable?
Do I harbor anger against the person who criticizes me? Do I immediately seek to defend myself, hauling out my righteous acts and personal opinions in order to defend myself and display my rightness? Can my spouse, parents, children, brothers, sisters, or friends correct me?
- Ask the Lord to give you a desire to be wise instead of a fool. Use Proverbs to commend to yourself the goodness of being willing and able to receive criticism, advice, rebuke, counsel, or correction. Meditate upon the passages given above: Proverbs 9:9; 12:15; 13:10,13; 15:32; 17:10; Psalm 141:5.
- Focus on your crucifixion with Christ. While I can say I have faith in Christ, and even say with Paul, “I have been crucified with Christ,” yet I still find myself not living in light of the cross. So I challenge myself with two questions. First, if I continually squirm under the criticism of others, how can I say I know and agree with the criticism of the cross? Second, if I typically justify myself, how can I say I know, love, and cling to God’s justification of me through Christ’s cross? This drives me back to contemplating God’s judgment and justification of the sinner in Christ on the cross. As I meditate on what God has done in Christ for me, I find a resolve to agree with and affirm all that God says about me in Christ, with whom I’ve been crucified.
- Learn to speak nourishing words to others. I want to receive criticism as a sinner living within Jesus’ mercy, so how can I give criticism in a way that communicates mercy to another? Accurate, balanced criticism, given mercifully, is the easiest to hear—and even against that my pride rebels. Unfair criticism or harsh criticism (whether fair or unfair) is needlessly hard to hear. How can I best give accurate, fair criticism, well tempered with mercy and affirmation?