As I look towards the fall and starting an Ann Arbor-focused church planting cooperative called Planting in Tree Town, one of the things that I’m starting to think about is the level of co-operation between the different churches and organizations involved. Of the people on my radar so far, I would categorize them all as broadly Evangelical, but there are differences as far as church polity, Reformed vs. Arminian understanding of salvation, and others. At some level, co-operation may be simply praying together, encouraging one another, and sharing resources. Might there be possibilities for actual co-operation in planting? Possibly, but that will require determining what are the non-negotiable issues that would prevent partnership. Tyler Jones, of Vintage21 in Raleigh, recently talked with Scott Thomas of Acts 29 about Vintage’s level of relationships with other organizations in their city. These are helpful categories and could provide a framework for our work here in Ann Arbor.

1. Family
   • Have the same “DNA” – agree theologically on the authority of Scripture, Jesus’ life, death, resurrection and what that accomplished, etc.
   • Can plant churches together
   • Highest level of sharing resources and interaction
2. Friends
   • Christians who clearly love Jesus.
   • Have differing views on things like church polity, etc., which affect how closely they can work together.
   • Some activities and resource sharing is possible.
3. Partners
   • Ministries that may not be Christians at all.
   • Often social justice groups.
   • Provides an opportunity for evangelism to happen with those who they are serving alongside as well as those they are serving directly.

One of the criticisms of the role of Senior Pastor is the lack of accountability. I think that’s why God intended the church to be lead by a plurality of elders, so that they can each be accountable to each other. Here is how the elders at Capital Hill Baptist do accountability as a team of elders:

One of the practices that our elder board has adopted is accountability with the entire elder board.  Once a month, one of the elders will be examined by the entire board and asked a variety of questions about his spiritual state, family life, work priorities, evangelism, etc.  We hope that by giving time to examining each other, we are looking out for one another.  We do this with only the most loving of intentions.

A few other notes:

• This practice should never preclude an elder from seeking 1 on 1 accountability with others.  We encourage all of the elders to be regularly seeking 1 on1 accountability relationships with elders or other brothers!
• We don’t allow visitors to watch this because of the very personal nature of the questions.
• We limit the time to about 25 minutes and then take a few minutes to pray for the life and ministry of the elder who has been examined.
• There is a high level of respect and trust among our elders for each other.  This type of examination is done in a very gracious and loving way.  It is never intended to allow for anger, fighting, disdain, shaming or revenge among our elders.

If there is no accountability among your elders, you might consider encouraging your elders to pursue 1 on 1 accountability and also accountability with entire elder board.

I have had a number of opportunities to share with people about my vision for a gospel-centered church plant and a movement of church-planting churches. Some people have seemed interested and responsive, others seem appreciative for the information and content to go their own way. I haven’t put much thought into trying to categorize the various responses that I might receive, which is why a recent blog post by Todd Bumgarner has been so helpful. In it, he presents “six categories into which someone falls.  Evaluating people through this grid is helping me to determine where to focus my time and energy as well as wake-up to the reality that I don’t want to face which is that some people, despite their excitement and interest, simply are not on-board.” I will definitely be using something like this in the future.

Family

The first category is what I call “family.”  These are the folks that are all-in.  They’ve caught the vision and want to help in any way possible.  They are servant-leaders and their commitment is apparent via a verbal conversation in which they express their commitment.  It is important to realize that simply showing up at things does not make someone part of the family (consistency does not necessarily equal commitment).  A better gauge is to combine their consistency with their language.  Folks who are in the family use phrases with first-personal plurals like “our church” or “we can do this…”.

Fence

The second category is what I call the “fence.”  These are people that are interested in what we’re doing, excited about what we’re doing, have come to one or more of the vision meetings, or expressed their interest/excitement over coffee or lunch.  People in this category require patience.  Often times people on the fence are plugged-in to other church communities and asking them to up-root from that to join what we’re doing is a complicated decision and process. I tell these people all the time that we are not in the business of stealing people from other churches, but that my role is to cast the vision and trust that the Holy Spirit will do his job.

In a church plant, people on the fence ultimately have to be called by the church planter to commitment.  A church plant consisting of interested and excited people (but with no commitment) will fail.  This is the category where the most time and prayer is to be spent.  In addition, a prayerful ear to the Spirit’s prompting of when to call them to commit must be discerned.  The goal is to move people from the fence to the family or discern if perhaps they are simply a “friend.”

Fans

On Facebook, having a lot of fans is great.  In a church plant – not so much.  Fans love what you’re doing, express their excitement, follow you on Twitter, meet you for coffee, let you buy them lunch, but never come to anything that you organize.  Fans are typically podcasting Driscoll, reading John Piper, and can give you the latest update on Chandler’s cancer faster than it takes for you to find it on the web.  Fans will suck the energy out of you.  Often times people in this category are another “F” word I like to use – “floaters.” Meaning they don’t have a church home, they float from one church to another, avoid commitment, and really see themselves as getting “fed” from guys they podcast.  Fans love to talk about the terms “gospel-centered” and “missionally-focused” but fail to ever translate their talk to their walk.

Fans need to be quickly moved to the fence or the farm or they will consume your time and distract you from the mission.

Friends

Friends are typically gospel-centered people that are playing in the same league but just on a different team.  They are interested in what you’re doing, realize the importance of it, want to support you in ways they can, but in the end are plugged-into and committed to another church.  Friends are brothers and sisters in Christ.  Friends are great, but they’re not family.  You can call on friends for practical help and outside advice, but when you’re trying to build a family, sometimes you have to limit your time with friends.

Farm

The farm is made up of people that were on the fence that turned out to not be in the family when you called them to commit or else folks that were fans that you simply had to move to farm as they were much more interested in hanging out in the grandstands than ever making it onto the field.  Instead of being “all-in,” they’ve verbally or non-verbally stated that they are “all-out.”  As much as it can sometimes hurt, the sad reality of a church planter is that once people are on the farm, it is typically a distraction from the mission to continue to pursue them.  Call them like you see them and move on.  If they want to rejoin the fence – trust that they will on their own.

Foes

Foes are the critics.  These are the opposite of “family.”

is not necessarily one which is doing some kind of specific ‘evangelism’ programme (though that is to be recommended). Rather:

1. If its members love and talk positively about the city and neighbourhood.
2. If they speak in language that is not filled with pious tribal or technical terms and phrases, nor disdainful and embattled language.
3. If in their Bible study they apply the gospel to the core concerns and stories of the people of the culture.
4. If they are obviously interested in and engaged with the literature and art and thought of the surrounding culture and can discuss it both appreciatively and yet critically.
5. If they exhibit deep concern for the poor and generosity with their money and purity and respect with regard to opposite sex, and show humility toward people of other races and cultures.
6. If they do not bash other Christians and churches.

Then seekers and non-believing people from the city (a) will be invited and (b) will come and will stay as they explore spiritual issues. If these marks are not there it will only be able to include believers or traditional, ‘Christianized’ people.

That’s from a recent post from Tim Chester. Each of those are qualities I want our Engage Groups to demonstrate. Chester closes with some reflections on those 6 characteristics.

1. How does your community measure up against these criteria?
2. If we find ourselves changing the language we use when unbelievers are present then we should probably change it all the time. Think about how you might talk about evangelism when unbelievers are present.
3. Tim Keller says the members of a missional community ‘love and talk positively about the city and neighbourhood’. List ten things you love about your neighbourhood.

Those are good points to think through and they provide quite a challenge to me as I look to growing more Engage Groups in the future.

David Murray recently wrote a great series of blog posts on evangelistic preaching. If you want to read them all, click here or read below for excerpts from each one.

What is evangelistic preaching?

evangelistic preaching expounds God’s Word (it is expository) with the primary aim being the salvation of lost souls (rather than the instruction of God’s people). Stuart Olyott says it is to “preach from the Bible with the immediate aim of the immediate conversion of every soul in front of us.”

What’s happened to evangelistic preaching?

The Preacher

Prejudice: “It’s more socially acceptable, it’s more dignified and respectable to be engaged in calm reasoning and deduction, rather than in anxious weeping and beseeching. I think we’d all have to admit that it is easier emotionally and socially to be teachers than evangelists. And that prejudice, that bias, influences our choice of text and the way we preach our texts.”

Pragmatism: “Let’s get people in first. Get them used to our church. Then we will become more “evangelistic.” After all we don’t want to put them off by telling them they are sinners who need a Savior; or that they must abandon their own works and trust in Christ’s grace alone; or that without faith in Christ they will be punished forever in hell, etc.”

Presumption: “some pastors dangerously presume that their hearers are already saved.”

The Congregation

Mature Christians: “When we preach evangelistic sermons, the mature Christians in our congregations, those we often lean on for our encouragement and strength, might feel (or even say), “Well there wasn’t much for me in that sermon…that’s more like milk for babies than meat for the mature.” They are maybe less than enthusiastic about simple preaching of the Gospel to lost sinners.”

Few Unconverted Persons: “My first congregation had only 20-30 people. Sometimes there were maybe only 3-5 unconverted hearers in an evening service. It’s a lot harder to preach an evangelistic sermon in these circumstances, because everyone knows to whom you are directing your warning, wooing, and pleading words.”

The World
… The real test of incipient pluralism is, “How do we really view the unconverted?” Is our first thought when we see them, “These precious souls are hell-bound, without Christ, lost, under the wrath of God, however religious they may be?” I’m deeply afraid that a kind of incipient, subtle, often unnoticed pluralism has blunted the sharp edge of evangelistic preaching.

The Devil
Then, of course, there is our great enemy, the devil. If there’s any kind of preaching that has been more successful in stealing captives from him and claiming them for the Lord, it is passionate evangelistic preaching. No weapon in the Gospel armory has been so effective in rescuing souls. Of course, he is going to fight it, and he is going to supply every excuse not to preach in an evangelistic way.

Why preach evangelistic sermons?

Biblical Warrant: “The Old Testament prophets were passionate pleaders for the souls of their fellow men and women. Deuteronomy reads like an Old Testament evangelistic tract, as Moses expostulates with Israel and beseeches them to embrace the God of Genesis to Numbers. Study the weeping reasonings of Jeremiah and the powerful pictorial pleas of Hosea. Even apocalyptic and enigmatic Ezekiel contains the most beautiful calls to Israel to turn from their evil ways and live. In encounter after encounter, in public and in private, Jesus exhorted souls to seek salvation. The Acts of the Apostles show us Peter and Paul pleading with individuals, groups, congregations, and public gatherings. “Teacher” Paul cannot resist tearful expressions of angst and desire in Romans 9-11, that most doctrinal of letters.”

What happens when Evangelistic Sermons are absent?

• Preaching becomes lecturely and academic
• Christians become forgetful, proud, inward-looking, and prayerless
• Christians do not bring friends to church
• Children growing up in the church assume they are saved
• Lost souls go to hell

Four kinds of evangelistic sermon

“Warm-up” sermons: “These are sermons we preach to clear and prepare the ground for the gospel. They address some of the common objections to Christianity; the caricatures of and prejudices against Christianity .. These sermons are aiming at conversion, especially the early stages of conversion. They are clearing away all the rubbish that has accumulated in a sinner’s mind, to gain a hearing for the gospel.”

Warning Sermons: “The great aim of these sermons is to convict, to bring our hearers to an awareness of their perilous state before God, and their need of repentance.”

Wooing Sermons: “We explain the wonders of the Father’s willingness to send his Son to sinners, and to save them by His sufferings, death, and resurrection. We also focus on the Lord Jesus; His willingness to come, suffer and die for sinners; His tender, wise and winning ways with sinners. We explain the powerful work of the Holy Spirit in regenerating and renewing the hardest of hearts. We explain that God saves by grace through faith, not by merit through works. We are trying to address people who are trembling, who are fearful, who are scared, and are seeking to draw them in to the love and the mercy and the grace of God. No pastor can pluck the chord of grace enough.”

Will Sermons: “These are sermons that bring people to the signpost at the junction, with two choices. These are sermons that bring people to the ballot box, where they must cast their vote. They bring people to that point where they are faced with the two great and ultimate options: faith or unbelief, life or death, heaven or hell. These are sermons that are full of persuasion, pleading, and arguing and beseeching.”

8 marks of an evangelistic sermon

Present: “Evangelistic preaching majors in the present tense. Yes, it deals with biblical data, which is usually in the past tense. But it moves rapidly from the past to the present”

Personal: “Yes, again, we begin with explaining the Word as originally given to the Israelites, the disciples, etc. It starts with “they” and “them.” However, in evangelistic preaching, we move rapidly to “you.”"

Persuasion: “We are here to persuade. People must see our anxiety that they respond to the Gospel in faith and repentance.”

Passionate: “Let people see that we feel this deeply, that we fear for their eternal state, that we are anxious over them, and that we love them deeply. Let that be communicated in our words, but also in our facial expressions, our body language, and our tone.”

Plain: “If we love sinners and we are anxious for them to be saved, we will be clear and plain in our structure, content, and choice of words. If we can use a smaller word, we use it. If we can shorten our sentences, we do so. If we can find an illustration, we tell it. Everything is aimed at simplicity and clarity, so that, as it was said of Martin Luther, it may be said of us, “It’s impossible to misunderstand him.”

Powerful: “Let’s preach with powerful, bold, divine authority. People need to hear, “Thus says the Lord.””

Perseverance: “And let our evangelistic sermons also be characterized by perseverance. We preach. No one’s converted. We do it again. We preach. No one’s converted. We do it again, and again, and again.”

Prayerful: “Above all, of course, evangelistic preaching is to be prayerful – before, during, and after. Pray to be delivered from the fear of man, pray that God would give you passion for souls. Pray that you would be able to communicate naturally and easily and freely. Pray that you’d get a hearing for the gospel and you’d be able to present Christ so that you “disappear.” And pray afterward that the seed sown would bring forth a harvest of saved souls, and that the church will be revived and built up.”

As a pastor or elder

Pastors and elders, the next time you are criticized for being unloving or unconcerned, ask yourselves:

1. Do we have some mechanism for personally knowing our sheep? As leaders, we will give an account for how well we watched over our people’s souls (Heb. 13:7). The Bible doesn’t mandate only one way for doing member care, but we must work to have some process in place. If we never ask, “How is the congregation doing?” or better yet, “How are you doing?” we should not be surprised to find lots of people falling through the cracks.
2. Do we have some way of knowing when people are not showing up at church? You can eyeball it, check the friendship pads, or spy out the church mailboxes, but we need to have a general sense of who is not making faithful use of the means of grace. Our Book of Church Order stipulates we talk about it at every elders’ meeting. The first step to noticing who’s missing is to start looking and start talking about it.
3. Are we confronting cliquishness in our church? The line between community and clique is often blurry. But if there’s one central difference it’s openness. A healthy community welcomes new people in. A clique finds ways to keep new people out. Pastors need to confront the problem of “closed circles” head on–in preaching, in structural decisions, and in one on one conversations. The leaders also need to make sure they are not in a closed circle themselves. Good friends are good. Good friends to the exclusion of everyone else is very bad.
4. Are there easy, identifiable ways for the shy, the non go-getters, and the more culturally reserved to get involved and be known by others? The confident entrepreneurs will make their way in the church just fine. But well-advertised entry points and personal invitations are required for many others.
5. Is it at least possible that we are more at fault than we think? Leadership doesn’t mean saying you’re sorry every time Mr. Sensitive feels offended. But it does mean always being open to the possibility that you’ve screwed up more than you thought.
6. Have we made promises we didn’t deliver on? There’s nothing more deadly than well-publicized, poorly executed good intentions. The elders launch a family visitation program, but only make it to half the homes. A pastor agrees to follow up his lobby conversation with a phone call and then forgets all about it. The church promises every member will get a mentor, but it ends up there aren’t enough mentors to go around. Don’t set the bar so high you’re bound to crash into it.
7. Are these critics generally critical? Pastors can waste their time with divisive grumblers. When they do so they are often too worn out to listen when a loyal member offers a thoughtful critique. We shouldn’t spend a lot of time on the squeaky wheels unless it’s an unfamiliar squeak. In other words, consider the source and remember “faithful are the wounds of a friend.”

As a member

As for the hurting and disappointed, before you criticize your leaders ask yourselves these questions:

1. Did I ever ask for help? Pastors and elders are not omniscient. Even with the best shepherding strategies people will fall through the cracks. So if you really need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. I know everyone wants to be noticed. But it’s hard for a dozen guys to notice five hundred or two dozen to notice two thousand. Help your leaders help you.
2. Have I overlooked opportunities to fit in and get to know people? Before you complain that you’ve been at the church six months and still don’t know anyone, think about ways you could get known in the next six months. Is there a small group you could join? Could you attend the smaller, more informal evening service? What about volunteering for the nursery next time the sign up sheet goes around? Have you tried the potlucks and picnics and prayer meetings? Giving love and being loved is 90% just showing up.
3. Is it realistic for the leaders to give to every person in this church the kind of care I expect? It’s easy to think “All I wanted was one visit. You can’t tell me they were too busy to set aside one night for my family.” But remember you aren’t the only person at the church. If the general level of care you expect from your leaders cannot be multiplied by the number of people in the church, then you may be hoping for too much. If you expect everything, you’ll always be disappointed.
4. If I really wanted to be loved and noticed why did I stop showing up? On the one hand, church leaders should know when their members have drifted away. Good shepherds keep an eye on their sheep. But on the other hand, if sheep want to be cared for by the flock, they shouldn’t stay from it. People get hurt when their church absence isn’t noticed. But I have a hard time feeling too much sympathy, unless you’re dealing with a shut-in or someone whose absence is not voluntary. Don’t run away if you want to be found.
5. Am I willing to consider that I may be at fault more than I realize? If it feels like your leaders can never do anything right, maybe you’re the one making life miserable–for them and for you.
6. Is it possible I’ve overlooked ways the body has cared for me because I was hoping a different part of the body would care for me? Sometimes church members will say, “Sure, my small group sent me cards but the pastor never called.”  Or, “Yes the pastors were very friendly to greet me after church, but no one my age ever said hello.” Or, “I know the elders care for me, but that’s their job.” Or conversely, “True, my friends prayed for me, but I never heard from my elder.” Before you get angry, remember the goal is for the body to care for the body, not for the shoulder to always get a special backrub from its favorite hand.
7. In general have I found this church and these leaders to be unloving and unsupportive? If the answer is yes, and Question 5 is dealt with too, then you may need a different church. But if the answer is no, consider giving your church and your leaders the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they just botched this one. We all get it wrong sometimes. I know I have. Maybe they were too busy and dropped the ball. Or maybe you don’t know the whole story. In any event, don’t let one misstep color your whole impression of their ministry.

For both sheep and shepherds the indispensable requirements for living together are love and humility. Love to treat others as we want to be treated. Humility to consider how we may be at fault. Disappointment in the church is bound to happen. But it doesn’t have to destroy the unity of the body. The Lord can use our hurts to make all of us slower to speak and quicker to listen.

Great words, as usual, from Kevin DeYoung, Senior Pastor at University Reformed Church in East Lansing, Michigan

I daresay that no current Christian leader and writer has had as much impact on me as Mark Dever, Senior Pastor of Capital Hill Baptist Church. He loves the church and loves to serve her while calling churches to greater fidelity to God. His books have been illuminating, challenging, and foundational to my understanding of ecclesiology and church life. I can’t highly recommend them enough.

A number of years ago he and Capital Hill Baptist started 9Marks, which is “a ministry dedicated to equipping church leaders with a biblical vision and practical resources. Our goal is simple: churches that display the glory of God“. The nine marks that are needed in a healthy, biblical church are

1. Expositional Preaching.
2. Biblical Theology.
3. A Biblical Understanding of the Good News.
4. A Biblical Understanding of Conversion.
5. A Biblical Understanding of Evangelism.
6. Biblical Church Membership.
7. Biblical Church Discipline.
8. Biblical Discipleship and Growth.
9. Biblical Church Leadership

Recently 9Marks posted overview videos about each mark. You can watch them below, along with a video announcing a new collab between 9Marks and Lamp Mode Recordings, a lyrical theology record label. Who would have guessed a church where the preacher wears a suit each week would be the inspiration between a rap album?

Mark 1 – Expositional Preaching

Mark 2 – Biblical Theology

Mark 3 – A Biblical Understanding of the Good News

Mark 4 – A Biblical Understanding of Conversion

Mark 5 – A Biblical Understanding of Evangelism

Mark 6 – Biblical Church Membership

Mark 7 – Biblical Church Discipline

Mark 8 – Biblical Discipleship and Growth

Mark 9 – Biblical Church Leadership

And here’s the rap video announcement

Elders lead the church. The main Biblical passages about their qualifications are 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-10. Specifically, 1 Timothy 3:6 reads

He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil

Since an elder must not be a recent convert, it stands to reason that elders must be tested and examined. This something many churches do not do when they appoint as elders good speakers or good business vs. holy Christians. Some churches have an examination process for elder candidates. Some of my bros in my Re:Train cohort are going through elder training at Mars Hill Church and I think it’s a year-long process. Coram Deo in Omaha, Nebraska has a  “6-month course of study and discussion” towards becoming an elder that “culminates with the examination phase.” Here’s the description of that phase written by Lead Pastor/Elder Bob Thune.

• Written essays outlining spiritual history, practice of spiritual disciplines, theological influences, leadership strengths and weaknesses, and understanding/articulation of the gospel
• A 3-hour written exam testing Bible comprehension and pastoral wisdom. For example: “What is the significance of Colossians 1 and 2 to our understanding of Christology?” And: “How would you comfort and encourage a couple at Coram Deo who just miscarried 9 weeks into pregnancy? What biblical passages would you take them to?” And: “A non-Christian in your MC asserts that he is a pretty moral person and, to his knowledge, has never broken one of the Ten Commandments. What Scripture passages would you take him to in order to show him that sin does not consist merely in outward acts?”
• A full review of stewardship, budget, debt and family finances by the CD Financial Team
• An oral assessment that tests “on-the-spot” Bible knowledge, theological acuity, and pastoral discernment
• A husband/wife interview assessing family health, marriage and parenting practices, conflict resolution, etc.
• A major theological position paper interacting with some current topic in church life (Coram Deo’s current position papers on Poverty and on Divorce and Remarriage are the fruit of past elder examinations)

It’s our desire to raise up men who 1) meet the biblical qualifications for eldership in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 and 2) have the full faith and trust of the entire Coram Deo community. This examination phase is a key step toward that end. Please pray for the men who are in the midst of it right now. And pray that God will raise up many more!

I’m very grateful that Bob posted this. It’s an excellent model to follow as I look to plant and raise up elders. It’s also very close to the same material that my Acts 29 application included, which makes sense, since every elder should be qualified to plant a church.

It’s a shame, and a sin, that more churches are not planting churches and “holding the rope” for the pastors of those new works. Here’s what holding the rope means, as told by Michael McKinley

Last Sunday Humberto Perez, one of the church planters that our congregation has sent out, thanked the congregation for “holding the rope” for him as he worked among Spanish speakers in the next town over.

The reference was lost on me, so I followed up Humberto afterward.  He told me that the phrase originated with William Carey and Andrew Fuller.

Michael Haykin explains more in his “A DULL FLINT”: ANDREW FULLER— ROPE-HOLDER, CRITIC OF HYPER-CALVINISM & MISSIONARY PIONEER.

In fact, when Carey went to India, Fuller later said it was as if Carey had found a rich gold mine. Carey himself was more than willing to descend into the mine, but would Fuller and his other friends hold the rope that lowered him down? Fuller and the others in England vowed to hold the rope until they quit this earthly scene. Whenever God has done a great work in the history of the church it has always been through a team of men and women. (italics mine)

That is a great mental image, of a team people providing a physical lifeline to those who are doing kingdom work. Julie and I have been praying that God will bring alongside us a church, or multiple churches, and people who will “hold our rope” as we seek to contribute to the gospel-transformation of Ann Arbor through the planting of 25 churches in 25 years, all to the glory of God.

Starting with our first Re:Train class, the past year has had a significant focus on discipleship. I got my discipleship paper back from Bill Clem and, while my grade was OK, his comments will definitely make it more biblical and usable. Discipleship is tough and it takes time. The Trellis and the Vine is probably the best book on discipleship I’ve read and here is a blog post from Aaron Menikoff that has many similar ideas.

First, every Christian needs to be discipled. … The Great Commission of Matthew 28 and the call to encouragement of Hebrews 3:13 makes this clear. …

Second, every Christian should feel the responsibility to make disciples. … The Great Commission is for all which means discipling is for all.

Third, discipling can take place in small groups and in one-on-one relationships. … As a few gather or just a couple, Christians should take deliberate steps to apply the Gospel to each other’s lives.

Fourth, discipling requires commitment. Often the commitment comes in the form of time. I met this morning at 7am with four wonderful brothers for a time of discipling. I get paid to do this. These men were meeting before their workday began. That is commitment. Sometimes the commitment is emotional. Getting to know someone spiritually means being there to hear tough stuff. Sometimes it means listening while someone is obviously immature but they need to talk and process so they can grow. Sometimes it means being willing to challenge–which can make the relationship awkward. All of this is commitment, and that it costly.

Fifth, discipling is less about what you do and more about “life on life.” … But at the core of it all needs to be humans applying God’s Word so that sanctification takes place. This can be done in conversation at a ball game and it can be done through Bible study in the living room. The key is that the Word is being applied to life. This means discipling relationships may look different from person to person. Where does friendship end and discipling begin? It’s not always easy to tell. Regardless of the answer, in a discipling relationship lives are being uncovered, challenged, and encouraged.

Sixth, discipling may require discriminating between low-hanging and high-hanging fruit. … Strategy may lead you to invest your time in someone you have reason to believe will be likely to model well the gospel for others. This is all helpful but a word of caution is in order: sometimes the people God puts in our lives–whether they be low-hanging or high-hanging fruit–are exactly the people we should be serving.

Seventh, discipling takes time. … It never ends. We never graduate.