From Thom Rainer. This is excellent advice of things I should do when, Lord willing, I pastor.

1. I would spend more time in prayer.
2. I would spend more time in the Word
3. I would spend more time loving my critics than worrying about their criticisms.
4. I would spend more time with the people of the church.
5. I would spend more time with the unchurched.

When I visited Capital Hill Baptist in Washington, DC last September for a 9Marks Weekender, I was struck by the amount of silence in the service. There actually was silence, which stands in stark contrast to most churches where there’s always sound and background music. I really enjoyed it and found it helped me to focus, contemplate, and seek God. Here is Senior Pastor Mark Dever’s explanation of why CHBC works at silence

One of the most frequently commented upon aspects of the morning Lord’s Day service here at Capitol Hill Baptist Church is nothing we do.  Or rather, it is the nothing we do.  It is our moments of silence.

There’s silence between various aspects of the service. I encourage service leaders to NOT do the “no-dead-airspace” TV standard of busy-ness. We LIKE “dead air space.”  “Dead air space” gives us time to reflect.  To collect our thoughts.  To consider what we’ve just heard or read or sung.  The silence amplifies the words or music we’ve just heard.  It allows us time to take it all in, and to pray.  We have silence to prepare ourselves.  We have silence between the announcements and the scriptural call to worship.  We even have a moment of silence AFTER the service!  I pronounce the benediction from the end of II Corinthians, invite the congregation to be seated.  And then, after about a minute of silence, the pianist begins quietly playing the last hymn that we had just sung.  During those few moments, we reflect and prepare to speak to others and depart.  We do business with God.  We prepare ourselves for the week ahead.

I’m a sound addict.  Even as I write about silence now, I’ve got Paganini blasting in my study!  But yesterday morning in church during one of our silences, I became aware of how corporate a labor such public silence is.  Everyone works to be quiet.  People stop moving their bulletins or looking for something in their purse.  There’s no movement.  We, together, hear the silence.  It engulfs us.  It enhances our unity.  It is something we all do together.  Together we consider what we’ve just heard.  Together we contribute to each other’s space to think.

Why has the church forgotten this?  Our culture knows it.  At the most solemn moments, we have a minute of silence.  And everyone listens to the silence.  And thinks about why we’re being silent.  Why don’t we do this in the church.

In the last century, E. M. Forster, in A Passage to India, referred to “poor little talkative Christianity”.  Perhaps there was a day when all Christians did was gather to listen to the Bible read and preached, and to prayers.  But that day is long gone in most evangelical churches.  These days we gather more to watch than to listen.  And to sing.

But in all the noise of our choirs, and drums, and electic guitars, and organs, and praise bands, where is the solemnity?  Where is the dignity and majesty that is so often indicated in the Bible by a stupified silence, soaked in awe and covered with wonder?

Ecclesiastes 3:7 tells us that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent, but we seem to have forgotten today that there is a time for silence.  God calls his people before Him in silence:  “the LORD is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him,” (Hab. 2:20).

Certainly as Christians we have much to rejoice over–loudly and joyfully and expectantly!  But is no part of our regular assemblies to reflect the weightiness of our sinful selves before a holy God, the silence of conviction, even of sorrow?  Furthermore, is no part of our regular assemblies to reflect the stunning weightiness of our forgiveness in Christ, the silence of marvel, and even the humility of some incomprehension?

We silence ourselves exactly because God has not kept silent.  We silence ourselves in order to hear God speak in His Word (cf. Deut. 27:9)  We silence ourselves to show our assent to God’s charges against us (cf. Ps. 39:9).  We silence ourselves to show respect and obedience and humility and restraint (cf. Zeph. 1:7;
I Cor. 14:34; I Tim. 2:12).  We silence ourselves to search our hearts (cf. Ps. 4:4).

We silence ourselves in our own times of prayer, reading and meditation on God’s Word.  And we should also silence ourselves in our periods of corporate worship.  Making silence together builds and unifies the church, witnesses to the majesty of God and tacitly proclaims His greatness to all who hear.

From Kevin DeYoung, pastor of University Reformed Church in East Lansing, MI. This is an issue that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, as I continue in my Acts 29 application process and begin the membership process at Grace Ann Arbor, which is part of a denomination (Reformed Church in America) that ordains women.

1. Historically, opening the door to egalitarianism in one generation leads to bigger errors in the next. I know slopes aren’t always slippery, but this one seems to be. Once your hermeneutic allows for egalitarianism, it becomes hard to stand firm on homosexuality. I’m not saying that all egalitarians believe homosexuality is acceptable, only that blurring gender roles and overstating the implications of Galatians 3:28 has often slid, over time, into an acceptance of sexual immorality.
2. The role of men and women is a huge issue for our day. Our millennial views matter, but in terms of ministering in and to the culture, where we stand in gender issues matters more. There is so much confusion on manhood and womanhood, that wherever we can speak clearly and with one voice that’s a good thing.
3. Complementarianism tends to signify a number of other important convictions. I don’t know any complementarians who don’t also affirm inerrancy, penal substitution, and eternal punishment (I’m not counting Catholics because though they don’t ordain women, the reasoning has more to do with their view of the priesthood than a complementarian theology of manhood and womanhood). In other words, if someone is a Calvinist and a complementarian I can generally assume a lot about their theology. These are not the two most important issues of the faith, but they are two issues that if embraced in our day, almost always include a lot of other important theological beliefs.

   Egalitarians can also believe in the sort of core doctrines listed above, but it is far less automatic. For example, the Common Loon mentions several Calvinist/Egalitarian academics: Roger Nicole, Nicholas Wolterstorrf, John Webster, Mark Husbands, Todd Billings, Bruce McCormack, Richard Mouw, Bill Dyrness, Laura Miguelez, and Donald Bloesch. With the exception of Nicole, how many of these scholars would embrace inerrancy? Some perhaps, but I best most wouldn’t. This doesn’t mean they aren’t worth listening to, but it does suggest that the Calvinist/Egalitarian package is different from the Calvinist/Compelementarian package in more ways than one.

4. Practically, it is very difficult for groups and organizations and movements to make both complementarians and egalitarians happy. If a new movement tried to embrace both views, how would this work? Would women be asked to be part of the leadership team? Would women preach to pastors at their conferences? This would not fly with most complementarians. And yet many egalitarians would see this as a matter of justice (they do in my denomination). Someone is bound to be upset. It is simpler and better for the long-term peace of an organization to take a stand on this issue. Cross-denominational movements can allow for different views of baptism, because they don’t ever have to baptize anyone. But such movements will have to make decisions on leadership structures and speaking requests. So going one way or the other on the gender issue becomes a practical necessity.

From Pat Aldridge via Jared Kennedy at SojournKids.com

Since coming back from the Children Desiring God conference, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about helping kids develop a passion for God and His Gospel. Mostly “how-to” type stuff. The books I have been reading all start by making two things very clear: 1) The importance of family devotions, and 2) The importance of personal growth. I want to explore these issues in reverse order.

Personal Devotions

The reason I want to start with personal devotions is because apart from them, family devotions won’t have as much, if any, impact on our kids. Our kids need to SEE us spending time reading our Bibles, praying, and handling life in a godly way. They need to SEE grace in action. Whether you understand it or not, parents have the most influence over their children. Two things to keep in mind about that: 1) parents are the people that spent the most time with their children, and 2) kids are like sponges – they absorb a lot from those they spend the most time with. What are we teaching our kids about the value of God, that it’s a private thing not to be disturbed, or that it is in the things of everyday life?

Another reason I start with personal devotions is that you as the parent/teacher need be growing in the graces and mercies of God. If we as the parents/teachers are growing ourselves our teaching will be more mechanical (”going through the motions”) and less life transforming.

Finally, personal growth as a parent means at least one more thing; we need to let our kids SEE us deal with our sin, especially when that sin is against them. We are sinners, just like they are, and we need to deal with that sin openly and honestly if we expect them to do the same. They struggle with the same sins we do – selfishness, stubbornness… do I need to go on? The bottom line in all sin is pride. If our kids don’t see us deal with sin, they won’t understand its devastating power.

Family Devotions

I like to think of family devotions as a kind of “small group” for your family. Most churches have small groups and when they are done well, this is where a lot of spiritual maturity happens. It shouldn’t be different with our families. At this point I must confess that I (like I suspect most of you) struggle with making this a habit. Our current schedule (my wife and I work opposite shifts with just a little overlap) compounds the problem. What we are learning is important in all aspects of child rearing; be intentional. We need to use the time God gives us to the best of its ability. Something I’ve had to say to myself is, “Stop making excuses, and just do it!”

I know what you may be thinking at this point, “Now that I have decided to do it, what should I do?” Here are some great resources to start you down the family devotions road. I have decided to start with a booklet put out by Children Desiring God called Helping Children Understand the Gospel by Sally Michael, Jill Nelson, and Bud Burk. I choose to start here because the Gospel is foundational. If I get this wrong it doesn’t matter what else I teach, it could (and probably will) be corrupt. I want my kids to cherish the richness of the message of the Gospel. Once the foundation is set we are planning on moving on to Bruce Ware’s book Big Truths for Young Hearts. It’s a great devotional that breaks down theology and helps kids (and parents as well) understand (as much as we can this side of heaven) how big God really is. From there we will probably us one of the many Catchisms that are out there. One of the ones we have is the Truth and Grace Memory Bookby Thomas K. Ascol put out by Founders Press. There are a lot of good resourses out there, ask people you trust they can probably recommend more, these are the ones I have come in contact with and will work for me.

Conclusion

Keep the following things in mind:

1. As parents we have the PRIMARY responsibility to raise our children in the ways of God. It’s not the church’s job to see that our kids get God. We spend the most amount of time with our kids and they learn a lot from watching what we do, say, and how we handle life.
2. Help your kids see God in the mundane, everyday situations of life.
3. Let your kids see you deal with sin. Don’t hide it or rationalize it away. Deal with it. This will teach your kids volumes about how dangerous sin is.
4. If you need help, ask. It doesn’t matter what stage you or your kids are at, start working to deepen their faith (yours will be deepened in the process).
5. Be intentional. We don’t know how much time we have so use it wisely.
6. Always have the heart in mind. Work on the heart not the behavior.

Andy Naselli posted about the master Scripture index that he created for the New Studies in Biblical Theology series edited by D. A. Carson. It’s an amazing resource. Wow.

Whatever the case, it’s both biblical, practical and beneficial. Here is an example Partner Booklet from Jonathan Dodson at Austin City Life.

Theologically rich and God-focused. 

Parents Commitment:

Our service is called a Baby Dedication, but it could be called a Parent Dedication.  This is a serious matter.  It is covenant—a bond of commitment made between you and God and the church community.

Parents, do you profess your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and affirm the promises of God made to you and your children in his Word.  If so say  “We do.”

Will you promise to God and this church community to live gospel-changed lives before your children?  Will you promise to discipline them and show them grace?  Will you instruct them by word and example in the truth of God’s Word and in the way of salvation through Jesus Christ?  Will you promise to pray for them and teach them to pray?  Will you promise to nurture them within the body of believers to the end that they become citizens in Christ’s kingdom?  If so, say, “We will with God’s help.”

The Church’s Commitment:

There is a myth in society today.  It is the myth of the nuclear family.  This myth teaches that all children need to grow up well is a good mom and dad.  The Scriptures make clear (Deuteronomy 6) that this is not the case.  God does not give his commands to teach and instruct children to moms and dads in isolation.  He commands the entire Israelite community.  When we see the sin in our hearts, it should help us to see that we need each other.  Parents, look around you.  You are not alone.

Sojourn, will you promise in the presence of God and one another to live gospel-changed lives before these children and to pray that they will in turn be changed by the gospel?  Will you love and pray for these children—encouraging them and helping to nurture them in the faith?  Will you assist these parents in fulfilling their biblical responsibilities, hold them accountable by confronting sin, pray for them, and spur them on toward love and good deeds?  If so, please read the following:

With joy and thanksgiving,
As Christ’s church,
With God’s help,
We promise to love, encourage, and support you
As you follow Christ and parent your children.

Prayer Response:

Gracious God, giver of all life,
We pray for these parents.
Give them wisdom and patience as parents.
Let your peace and joy dwell in their home
Instruct them in the truth of your gospel.
Strengthen them by faith.
Sustain them through prayer.
Govern their lives by love.

We pray for these children.
Change them by your gospel.
Help them to love and trust Jesus.
Help them to obey and honor their parents.
Connect them to gospel community and gospel mission.
For Christ’s sake,
Amen.

Doesn’t get much better than this

These are some big names in skating preaching and living the gospel. Praise the Lord for He is good!

From Jonathan Dodson, via his Creation Project Blog. His Church Planting Novice blog is highly recommended.

How should we pray when we suffer? Honestly and with humility. Boldly but with confidence in his blessing. Desperately with our eyes, not on our escape but upon our Lord. Hopefully, by directing our hope to the grace that comes through a cross, not a courtroom. Repentantly, as we let go of sinful demands for vindication and cling to his provision in self-sacrificing propitiation. Pietistically, wanting more than anything a deeper communion with Him. Lovingly, seeking to obtain that mercy for our suffering in order to turn it into a grace for our attackers. Thankfully, for his perfect design and provision in our suffering to bring us the greatest good. Worshipfully, acknowledging that Christ alone is sufficient for our failures and our sufferings.