From LeadershipJournal.net. All use Matthew 4:1-11 as the passage

Subjective questions

Some small-group leaders unintentionally transfer authority from the Bible to group members by instructing them to look inward for meaning rather than investigating the text.

Poor question: What does verse 11 mean to you?
Better question: How does verse 11 show God the Father’s sensitivity to the Son?

Long-winded questions

Questions get long when a group leader attempts to stuff several facts into a question so that group members will give the appropriate answer. But that kind of information is more easily assimilated by group members when it is put in the form of introductory statements.

Poor question: Looking at how the devil tempts Jesus in the wilderness, what specific qualities and strategies of spiritual warfare does he demonstrate that could also be used against us?
Better question: The tactics Satan used against Jesus will also be used against us. What strategies did Satan demonstrate in this episode?

Leading questions

Rather than inciting curiosity, these questions may insult the intelligence of your group members. A leading question sags under the weight of your own opinion or predetermined notion, and the way you ask such a question actually reveals the answer that you want to hear. They usually call for a yes or no response that kills conversation. “Don’t you think … ” or “Isn’t … ” are typical ways of beginning a leading question.

Poor question: Don’t you think the timing of Satan’s attack on Jesus was significant?
Better question: This episode occurs immediately following Jesus’ baptism and right before the launch of his public ministry. What can we learn about our enemy from the timing of his attacks on Jesus?

Compound questions

Resist the impulse to fling back-to-back questions at your group without waiting for a reply to the first one. Either they will be confused about which question to answer first, or they will forget the first question by the time you finish the second. One question at a time!

Poor question: What did Jesus experience right before the first temptation, and what does this timing tell us about Satan?
Better question: What did Jesus experience right before the first temptation? [Pause for replies.] What does the timing of this first temptation tell us about Satan?

Compulsory personal questions

We want small-group participants to reinforce biblical truths with anecdotes from their lives. We want them to reveal needs exposed by God’s Word so the group can pray specifically for them. Yes, transparency is a vital sign of small-group health. But it’s a bad idea to drop a question that requires transparency in the lap of an unsuspecting person.

Poor question: Marge, you’ve been a Christian for a few years. Can you tell us how you’ve experienced Satan’s warfare against you?
Better question: Can anyone illustrate the persistence of Satan’s attacks from your walk as a Christian?

From Pat Aldridge via Jared Kennedy at SojournKids.com

Since coming back from the Children Desiring God conference, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about helping kids develop a passion for God and His Gospel. Mostly “how-to” type stuff. The books I have been reading all start by making two things very clear: 1) The importance of family devotions, and 2) The importance of personal growth. I want to explore these issues in reverse order.

Personal Devotions

The reason I want to start with personal devotions is because apart from them, family devotions won’t have as much, if any, impact on our kids. Our kids need to SEE us spending time reading our Bibles, praying, and handling life in a godly way. They need to SEE grace in action. Whether you understand it or not, parents have the most influence over their children. Two things to keep in mind about that: 1) parents are the people that spent the most time with their children, and 2) kids are like sponges – they absorb a lot from those they spend the most time with. What are we teaching our kids about the value of God, that it’s a private thing not to be disturbed, or that it is in the things of everyday life?

Another reason I start with personal devotions is that you as the parent/teacher need be growing in the graces and mercies of God. If we as the parents/teachers are growing ourselves our teaching will be more mechanical (”going through the motions”) and less life transforming.

Finally, personal growth as a parent means at least one more thing; we need to let our kids SEE us deal with our sin, especially when that sin is against them. We are sinners, just like they are, and we need to deal with that sin openly and honestly if we expect them to do the same. They struggle with the same sins we do – selfishness, stubbornness… do I need to go on? The bottom line in all sin is pride. If our kids don’t see us deal with sin, they won’t understand its devastating power.

Family Devotions

I like to think of family devotions as a kind of “small group” for your family. Most churches have small groups and when they are done well, this is where a lot of spiritual maturity happens. It shouldn’t be different with our families. At this point I must confess that I (like I suspect most of you) struggle with making this a habit. Our current schedule (my wife and I work opposite shifts with just a little overlap) compounds the problem. What we are learning is important in all aspects of child rearing; be intentional. We need to use the time God gives us to the best of its ability. Something I’ve had to say to myself is, “Stop making excuses, and just do it!”

I know what you may be thinking at this point, “Now that I have decided to do it, what should I do?” Here are some great resources to start you down the family devotions road. I have decided to start with a booklet put out by Children Desiring God called Helping Children Understand the Gospel by Sally Michael, Jill Nelson, and Bud Burk. I choose to start here because the Gospel is foundational. If I get this wrong it doesn’t matter what else I teach, it could (and probably will) be corrupt. I want my kids to cherish the richness of the message of the Gospel. Once the foundation is set we are planning on moving on to Bruce Ware’s book Big Truths for Young Hearts. It’s a great devotional that breaks down theology and helps kids (and parents as well) understand (as much as we can this side of heaven) how big God really is. From there we will probably us one of the many Catchisms that are out there. One of the ones we have is the Truth and Grace Memory Bookby Thomas K. Ascol put out by Founders Press. There are a lot of good resourses out there, ask people you trust they can probably recommend more, these are the ones I have come in contact with and will work for me.

Conclusion

Keep the following things in mind:

1. As parents we have the PRIMARY responsibility to raise our children in the ways of God. It’s not the church’s job to see that our kids get God. We spend the most amount of time with our kids and they learn a lot from watching what we do, say, and how we handle life.
2. Help your kids see God in the mundane, everyday situations of life.
3. Let your kids see you deal with sin. Don’t hide it or rationalize it away. Deal with it. This will teach your kids volumes about how dangerous sin is.
4. If you need help, ask. It doesn’t matter what stage you or your kids are at, start working to deepen their faith (yours will be deepened in the process).
5. Be intentional. We don’t know how much time we have so use it wisely.
6. Always have the heart in mind. Work on the heart not the behavior.

Whatever the case, it’s both biblical, practical and beneficial. Here is an example Partner Booklet from Jonathan Dodson at Austin City Life.

Based on this post by Jonathan Dodson, Tim Chester’s You Can Change: God’s Transforming Power for Our Sinful Behaviour and Negative Emotions sounds like a great small group/missional community resource. It goes on the list of resources to get.

Dodson writes that You Can Change helps us “to believe what is true, to live in the pattern of grace” because

1. It is about Gospel-centered change: “The secret of gospel change is being convinced that Jesus is the good life and fountain of all joy.”
2. It heads off Gospel-distorting approaches to change: 1) Proving ourselves to God 2) Proving ourselves to others 3) Proving ourselves to ourselves.
3. Personal Change Project: Every chapter includes Reflection Questions for discussion and a Personal Change Project that helps us identify an area of sin in which we need gospel-centered change. This a powerful process.
4. Ten Key Questions: Each chapter raises an important question that leads us through the process of gospel-centered change. See Table of Contents here.
5. It emphasizes Faith and Repentance as key to change: “We begin the Christian life in faith and repentance, and we continue the Christian life in faith and repentance.”
6. Chapter 7 changed me on the spot: “If you let any of those gods down, they will beat you up. If you live for people’s approval or your career or possessions or control or anything else and you don’t make it or your mess up, then you’ll be left feeling afraid, downcast or biter. But when you let Christ down, he loves you still. He doesn’t beat you up; he dies for you.”