From Daniel Montgomery’s sermon series on Proverbs, as summarized by Doug Wolter

TEACH YOUR KIDS TO SUFFER WELL.

MYTH:  Suffering is to be avoided at all costs.
REALITY: Suffering is normal. (Proverbs 10:25, Romans 5:3-5)

TEACH YOUR KIDS TO WORK DILIGENTLY.

MYTH: Work is to be avoided at all costs.
REALITY: You were created to work. (Proverbs 10:4, Colossians 3:23-24)

TEACH YOUR KIDS TO SPEND WISELY.

MYTH: Everything is yours to use as you see fit.
REALITY: Your life is a sacred stewardship (Proverbs 23:4, Romans 12:1)

TEACH YOUR KIDS TO MAKE WISE DECISIONS.

MYTH: Only you can decide what’s the best, most fulfilling way to live.
REALITY: Holy living allows you to experience God’s best for your life. (Proverbs 3:7-8, 1 Peter 1:15-16)

TEACH YOUR KIDS TO LIVE BY GRACE.

MYTH: Failure is final.
REALITY: You were created to receive and give grace. (Proverbs 19:11, Ephesians 2:8-9)

In anticipation of being assessed as a church planter, I wonder how I will respond if my “grade” on the assessment indicates that church planting isn’t the most appropriate ministry for how God has made me. Maybe I’m better suited to pastor or replant an existing church. I don’t know, but I’m definitely praying about it.  This post from Scott Thomas on the Acts 29 Network Blog provides helpful thoughts when Envisioning a Replant.

1. Envision what the worship gathering could be (Acts 2:42-47).
   • Attitude of body during worship
   • Music
   • Prayer
   • Teaching
   • Communion
   • Children
   • Exaltation of God
   • Incorporation of arts
2. Envision what the evangelism could be (Matt. 28:18-20; Acts 1:8).
   • Who can you reach immediately?
   • What attitudes toward evangelism need to change?
   • Where or how could you boldly make an impact with the gospel?
   • What steps of faith need to be taken to reach the unchurched and the unsaved?
   • How could your youth evangelize?
   • How could households evangelize together?
   • What worldwide impact could you make as a body (i.e. foreign missions)?
   • How are you going to be an eternal value to your community?
3. Envision how education and discipleship could be effective (Acts 2:42).
   • How will it become a passionate pursuit of the body (“continue steadfastly in the Apostles’ doctrine,” Acts 2:42)?
   • What resources (people, qualities, gifts) do you have in place to launch greater disciple-making?
   • How will the fathers and heads of households (single moms, etc.) be trained to be the priest and spiritual head of their homes?
   • How will the older men and women teach and interact with the younger men and women? (Titus 2)
   • Will the age groups be segregated (children, youth, singles, college, married, etc.) or will they be integrated into the body?
   • What role will small groups play?
   • What training will be needed to help develop disciples who are passionately pursuing Christ?
4. Envision an Acts 2 commitment to fellowship (Acts 2:44-45).
   • In what ways will the body seek to meet the needs of one another (spiritual, social, financial, physical)?
   • What attitudes need to change to be sacrificially generous with time, money and resources for the encouragement and edification of the body?
   • How will the body serve one another actively and responsively in an unprompted way?
   • What will the membership requirements be? How will it communicate a covenantal commitment?
5. Envision an effective youth and children’s ministry.
   • Will they be integrated into the church ministry? If so, how?
   • How will families be strengthened through the student ministry?
   • How will the youth be encouraged and trained to evangelize their friends?
   • What role will the heads of households play in the student ministry?
   • Who (person or groups) will lead the youth and children’s ministry?
   • What facility changes are needed to communicate the value of children and youth?
   • What other positions of leadership need to be filled to be effective?
   • What leadership development with the students will be put into place?
   • What programs or customs need to be extracted from the youth and children’s ministry to avoid distractions from the ministry goals?
6. Envision an equipping staff (Eph. 4:11-13).
   • What changes need to be made with the staff (paid or volunteer) to meet the church’s goals?
   • Are the staff members doing the ministry or leading people to do the ministry? If they are doing the bulk of the ministering, how will they develop the body to do the work of the ministry?
   • Are you over-staffed or under-staffed to meet both financial obligations and the development of lay people (taking responsibility for ministry)?
7. Envision a body not reacting to finances to determine God’s call (Matt. 6:24).
   • How will faith in God calling a body to reach out to the community and world be weighed against financial responsibility and stewardship?
   • If mortgages or debts exist, how will they be paid off in a realistic way over a reasonable time period?
   • What attitudes or practices about money and finances need to be changed?
   • Is a budget in place? Is it a true reflection of the church’s giving and spending (balanced budget)?
   • What expenses can be cut immediately to be redirected toward the church’s mission?
   • Is the body (especially the leadership) making decisions based on finances or on God’s calling?
   • What creative ways can you generate more income without sacrificing resources, biblical principles, or expending paid personnel?

Parakaleo is a gospel-centered ministry that exists to strengthen the gospel spreading impact of church planting
by coming alongside church planting movements and church planting couples.
Through coaching, connecting, caring, and celebrating they facilitate training,
encouragement and care of church planters and their spouses. They recently conducted research about the greatest sources of satisfaction or stress for church planting wives. Here’s the list

Six Primary Sources

1. The Husband
2. Support System (often lack of other contact with church planting wives)
3. Sabbath Rest
4. Reliance on Christ
5. Boundary Ambiguity
   1. Role Ambiguity (what is church planting wife’s role)
   2. Emotional Ambiguity
   3. Physical Ambiguity
6. Physical health

Eight Secondary Sources

1. Changed lives
2. Commitment and sense of call to church planting
3. Family Time
4. Raising kids
5. Church growth
6. Expectations- from/of self and others
7. Finances

Use of gifts and abilities

Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, KY recently hosted a conference called The Gospel, Counseling, and the Church.  There was also a pre-conference “family track” for leaders in children’s, student, and family ministry.  Patrick Aldridge, Pastor for Children and Youth at Redeemer Fellowship Church, St. Charles, IL, took notes for the SojournKids.com blog and here are some highlights.

Four things that need to be considered when putting together a Gospel centered ministry (Mark Prater from Covenant Fellowship)

1. Know what you are building
   1. Start with philosophy of ministry tied into ministry of church
   2. Craft a clear simple Gospel-centered philosophy of ministry statement and community it often
   3. Write Gospel-centered objectives for the ministry
2. Role of pastor or leader needs to be clearly defined
   1. Scripturally parents are responsible to teach and discipline their children (Deut. 6:5-7 and Eph. 6:4).  Pastors and leaders need to find ways to come along side parents and equip them for their biblical responsibility.
   2. Pastors and leaders need to be aware that they are responsible for the message they present.
   3. The role of pastors and leaders is help parents see their families in the larger community of faith and use that community to help them and their families.
3. Choosing a curriculum., which needs
   1. To effectively teach the Gospel – the message that never changes.
   2. To help equip parents to teach the Gospel at home.
   3. A theological framework that agrees with the theological framework of the whole church
4. Place our confidence in the Gospel

For an example, read how Sojourn keeps their children’s ministry Gospel-centered.

Also included in Patrick’s excellent notes are thoughts on youth ministry and family-equipping ministry. Check out the whole post, it’s incredibly helpful.

I’ve heard lots of people talk about Family Worship, the process of intentionally setting aside time each day, as a family, to worship God. Rarely have I found much detail on what to do and what’s appropriate. Well, there’s a new website http://familyworshipguide.net that provides everything from the Biblical basis to resources to an actual Family Worship Guide that covers 3 months. I’m hoping to start this tonight. Super excited about this great new site.

Sojourn Community Church in Louisville is doing great things for the glory of God. I really enjoy reading their SojournKids Blog. This was a recent post about changes to their programs.

Beginning with our Infants classes, our Sojourn babes will be prayed for and loved on intentionally through blessings we have been taught in the Bible.  Beginning Labor Day weekend, our servants will find prayers and blessings for children posted throughout the nursery for servants to say or pray while changing a diaper or when snuggling in a rocker (and especially to pray when children are wailing!).

Also, with our oldest Nursery group, the 12-24month class, we will introduce a curriculum that tells 4 basic Bible stories to the young children over and over again throughout the year.  Repetition is the key to learning–especially at this young age, and our teachers will also learn creativity as they tell the same stories over and over.  If you are interested, there is an opportunity to “adopt a story” by serving in the 12-24 months class once per month.  If  you are serving the first week of every month, for example, you will tell the first of the four Nursery stories every time that you serve.

Their focus on repetition is especially valuable as that’s the way young kids learn. It’s unfortunate that more church curriculum isn’t geared specifically to the different learning styles of age groups.

From Jared Kennedy at SojournKids.com via Bryce Butler and all the material is from Covenant Life.

Parenting Ages 19 to 22

By Bob Kauflin | May 16, 2009

• Hopes and Goals | Audio
• Rules and Relationships | Audio
• College and Careers | Audio
• Question and Answer Session | Audio
• Overall Outline (PDF, 160kb)

Parenting Ages 15 to 18

By Kenneth Maresco | April 18, 2009

• God’s Role and Our Role | Audio
• A Teen’s Relationship with God | Audio
• The Importance of Relationships in a Teen’s Life | Audio
• Question and Answer Session | Audio
• Overall Outline (PDF, 232kb)

Parenting Ages 11 to 14

By Greg Somerville | March 14, 2009

• Changing Relationships | Audio
• Emerging Convictions in a Changing World | Audio
• Changing Bodies and Minds | Audio
• Overall Outline (PDF, 244kb)

Parenting Ages 6 to 10

By Kenneth Maresco | Jan. 17, 2009

• Biblical Principles of Parenting | Audio
• Shepherding Toward Conversion | Audio
• Shepherding Your Child’s Heart | Audio
• Overall Outline (PDF, 168kb)
• Additional Resources: “Sowing Plan” (PDF, 56kb) | Plan to Overcome Complaining (PDF, 54kb)

Parenting Ages Infant to 5

By Brian Chesemore | Nov. 15, 2008

• Training, Discipline, and the Rod | Audio | Outline (PDF, 136kb)
• Biblical Principles of Parenting | Audio | Outline (PDF, 104kb)

From Darrin Patrick of The Journey Church in St. Louis.

Especially helpful is his recommendation to divide your schedule into 3 time periods

1. 7 a.m. to 12 p.m.
2. 12 p.m. to 5 p.m.
3. 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.

and only work 2 of those periods each day. That’s very wise advice to manage a schedule that could easily take all hours in the day.

These are amazingly helpful thoughts from C.J. Mahaney on teaching Proverbs

As the book of Song of Solomon is a unique gift for married couples, the book of Proverbs is a unique gift for parents and children. For preachers looking to use the summer months to preach this unique book, here are a few tools that may be useful.

Preaching Proverbs in Calvary’s Shadow

It can be difficult to balance the call to obedience with the cross-centered life. Yet that is what William Arnot accomplishes in the final chapter of his old commentary on Proverbs, Laws from Heaven for Life on Earth (published in 1873). The final chapter, “Faith and Obedience—Work and Rest,” models this balance well and I commend it to you.

You can read or download the entire commentary for free online. But you can download the isolated chapter I mention as a PDF here (0.9MB).

Thematic Structures

Of importance to the preacher of Proverbs is getting a handle on a few recurring themes and character developments featured in the book (i.e. wisdom, folly, discernment, understanding, knowledge). Derek Kidner’s excellent commentary will certainly help here.

I also recommend a newer commentary on Proverbs by John A. Kitchen (Mentor, 2006). In the appendix of his commentary, Kitchen has written a very useful systemization and summary of the path of the righteous and the path of the fool (pp. 727–736). Kitchen uses three graphics to distinguish the two paths and the several steps along the way.

The explanations behind these charts are developed in the commentary appendix. And the editors of Christian Focus have granted us permission to post the entire appendix here as adownloadable PDF (2.4MB).

Summer Series Outline

Due to its structure, the book of Proverbs is difficult to preach expositionally from beginning to end. The book lends itself to topical exposition, a feature that makes it a suitable text for preaching during the summer months.

Sovereign Grace Church in Fairfax, Virginia, is using the summer to preach a ten-week series on Proverbs. The pastors have divided the first nine chapters by topic (I was honored to participate in the series by preaching the second message).

FEAR GOD (1:1-7)
LISTEN (1:20-33)
SEEK (2:4)
TRUST (3:5)
GUARD (4:23)
DRINK (5:15)
GO (6:6-8)
KEEP (7:1-2)
HEAR (8:1, 32)
CHOOSE (9:6)

The church printed full-color bookmarks to outline the series and, as you will see, to capture the series as an opportunity to encourage and equip the church to interpret the book of Proverbs for themselves. Here is the graphic they used for the series:

From Pat Aldridge via Jared Kennedy at SojournKids.com

Since coming back from the Children Desiring God conference, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about helping kids develop a passion for God and His Gospel. Mostly “how-to” type stuff. The books I have been reading all start by making two things very clear: 1) The importance of family devotions, and 2) The importance of personal growth. I want to explore these issues in reverse order.

Personal Devotions

The reason I want to start with personal devotions is because apart from them, family devotions won’t have as much, if any, impact on our kids. Our kids need to SEE us spending time reading our Bibles, praying, and handling life in a godly way. They need to SEE grace in action. Whether you understand it or not, parents have the most influence over their children. Two things to keep in mind about that: 1) parents are the people that spent the most time with their children, and 2) kids are like sponges – they absorb a lot from those they spend the most time with. What are we teaching our kids about the value of God, that it’s a private thing not to be disturbed, or that it is in the things of everyday life?

Another reason I start with personal devotions is that you as the parent/teacher need be growing in the graces and mercies of God. If we as the parents/teachers are growing ourselves our teaching will be more mechanical (”going through the motions”) and less life transforming.

Finally, personal growth as a parent means at least one more thing; we need to let our kids SEE us deal with our sin, especially when that sin is against them. We are sinners, just like they are, and we need to deal with that sin openly and honestly if we expect them to do the same. They struggle with the same sins we do – selfishness, stubbornness… do I need to go on? The bottom line in all sin is pride. If our kids don’t see us deal with sin, they won’t understand its devastating power.

Family Devotions

I like to think of family devotions as a kind of “small group” for your family. Most churches have small groups and when they are done well, this is where a lot of spiritual maturity happens. It shouldn’t be different with our families. At this point I must confess that I (like I suspect most of you) struggle with making this a habit. Our current schedule (my wife and I work opposite shifts with just a little overlap) compounds the problem. What we are learning is important in all aspects of child rearing; be intentional. We need to use the time God gives us to the best of its ability. Something I’ve had to say to myself is, “Stop making excuses, and just do it!”

I know what you may be thinking at this point, “Now that I have decided to do it, what should I do?” Here are some great resources to start you down the family devotions road. I have decided to start with a booklet put out by Children Desiring God called Helping Children Understand the Gospel by Sally Michael, Jill Nelson, and Bud Burk. I choose to start here because the Gospel is foundational. If I get this wrong it doesn’t matter what else I teach, it could (and probably will) be corrupt. I want my kids to cherish the richness of the message of the Gospel. Once the foundation is set we are planning on moving on to Bruce Ware’s book Big Truths for Young Hearts. It’s a great devotional that breaks down theology and helps kids (and parents as well) understand (as much as we can this side of heaven) how big God really is. From there we will probably us one of the many Catchisms that are out there. One of the ones we have is the Truth and Grace Memory Bookby Thomas K. Ascol put out by Founders Press. There are a lot of good resourses out there, ask people you trust they can probably recommend more, these are the ones I have come in contact with and will work for me.

Conclusion

Keep the following things in mind:

1. As parents we have the PRIMARY responsibility to raise our children in the ways of God. It’s not the church’s job to see that our kids get God. We spend the most amount of time with our kids and they learn a lot from watching what we do, say, and how we handle life.
2. Help your kids see God in the mundane, everyday situations of life.
3. Let your kids see you deal with sin. Don’t hide it or rationalize it away. Deal with it. This will teach your kids volumes about how dangerous sin is.
4. If you need help, ask. It doesn’t matter what stage you or your kids are at, start working to deepen their faith (yours will be deepened in the process).
5. Be intentional. We don’t know how much time we have so use it wisely.
6. Always have the heart in mind. Work on the heart not the behavior.